I sometimes wonder when we stop trusting ourselves.
Not trusting our knowledge.
Or our intelligence.
Trusting our intuition, our inner knowing.
It’s a different thing.
When We Stop Listening to Ourselves
I don’t think we’re born doubting ourselves.
Somewhere along the way, many of us slowly learn to question our own inner voice.
Sometimes it’s because someone else’s voice became louder.
Sometimes because life humbled us.
Sometimes because we made a decision that ended painfully, and quietly promised ourselves we’d never trust our judgment again.
Whatever the reason…
Something changes.
We begin collecting opinions.
We ask our friends.
Our family.
Our therapist.
We read books.
Listen to podcasts.
Search online.
Trying to find someone who knows.
Someone who can tell us what the right answer is.
I know that place well.
I’ve been there more than once.
There were moments in my life when I desperately wanted someone else to know better than I did.
Someone to validate me.
Someone to remove the weight of uncertainty from my shoulders.
It felt comforting.
For a while.
But I’ve learned that borrowed certainty comes with a price.
The more I relied on someone else’s answers…
The quieter my own voice became.
The more I gave my power away to other people.
Guidance or Inner Authority?
That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t seek guidance.
Far from it.
I’ve learned invaluable lessons from teachers, therapists, books, and conversations with people I deeply respect.
The question, for me, is different.
Am I seeking guidance…
Or am I handing over my inner authority?
Learning to Hear Ourselves Again
One of the hardest parts of personal growth isn’t learning something new.
It’s learning to hear ourselves again.
Not the loud voice of fear.
Not the voice that wants immediate certainty.
The quieter one.
The one that doesn’t shout.
The one that patiently waits until everything else settles down.
Trust Is Rebuilt Through Experience
I’ve discovered that trust isn’t rebuilt through certainty.
It’s rebuilt through experience.
By making decisions.
Living with them.
Learning from them.
Realizing that even when I get something wrong…
I can meet myself with curiosity instead of judgment.
Perhaps trusting ourselves doesn’t mean believing we’ll always make the right decision.
Perhaps it means believing that whatever happens…
We’ll know how to meet it.
And somehow…
That feels far more reassuring.
With curiosity and an open heart.
